Owning The Narrative

A few weeks back, Derek Sivers published a post that resonated with me. In a single, short entry, he wrote about something that I've been trying to put into words that I continue to work on (with varying degrees of success) as part of my 'I am a work in progress" mindset. I’ve been spending a lot of time analyzing and trying to think differently about many things around my own 'story'.

We think of the past like it’s a physical fact - like it’s real. But the past is what we call our memory and stories about it. Imperfect memories and stories are built on one interpretation of incomplete information. That’s 'the past'. You can change your history. The actual factual events are such a small part of it. Everything else is perspective, open for re-interpretation. The past is never done.

Shakespeare's The Tempest, says 'what's past is prologue' and that history is what sets the direction for the present. In many ways that can be true but I'm starting to understand that it's not the entire story.

I've been trying to view life more as a movie - one that you are the star of - with your memories and events defining your arc as the main character. These stories do not form your identity, but they can set artificial boundaries on what you are able to achieve in the context of where you are today.

It may be personal, but here's what I struggle with. My wife always gets mad at me when I say that I 'feel old.' And it's a simple fact - I do feel old lately. The body aches in ways that it never used to, I can't run like I did when I was 40, etc. But I'm realizing how important it is to take back control of my own narrative. Allowing myself to be influenced by these thoughts (or others' opinions of me, external social pressures or expectations, etc), it derails to me on what's possible. or what I want to be.

I've noticed more than ever that I need to take over and reframe my own story.

I spend too much time thinking about 'this happened, which caused that.'

"When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. But when you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it’s your laugh." - Nora Ephron

Reframing starts by making small shifts in how I think about things to make active changes to allow me to take back my own story. To get unstuck from the past.

According to Wikipedia, the theory of narrative identity 'postulates that individuals form an identity by integrating their life experiences into an internalized, evolving story of the self that provides the individual with a sense of unity and purpose in life.'

Reframing stories is hard in 2023. There's almost an epidemic of crappy news and a general bad vibe all around us, 24 hours a day. Social media appears to have devolved into nothing more than junk food for your brain.

It's become incredibly important when I start to get overwhelmed, to recognize the ideas/thoughts that set me down a path of the old story. It's good to have small, simple things that help you reset. Go for a walk around the block, do a quick 10 min strength workout, or read a book. A quick win often helps reset my brain to get out of a negative spiral.

And once you take over your narrative identity - that inner narrative that consists of your reconstructed past, your perceived present, and your imagined future-  you can start actively turning your life into the one you want to live. Psychologists have long stated that turning memories into a well-told life narratives can help you achieve that identity.

So, am I the "old guy"? No.

Instead, I'm the "one who has some perspective on what's important in life by surviving two heart attacks" or the "adventurer who's experienced what it's like to be on Mt Everest, climb volcanos, or see elephants roam around in their natural habitat in South Africa".

Heck - I love challenging the status quo - that's why I am always talking about pirates. It's part of my narrative. I've gotten to a place where I've decided to no longer accept the story I was telling myself, and take more of a stance in authoring the story I want.

Enough rambling on a late Sunday night - lets close out this week with a quick watch from The Do Lectures on 'the two films of your life'.

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Mind Benders 🤯

I've been getting back into reading Vonnegut again, and I keep wandering across pearls of wisdom that seem to exactly what I need at a particular moment. This one is from an interview on PBS:

[When Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope]
Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?

And so I pretend not to hear her.

And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes.

And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know.

The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around.

And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it's like we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

Quotables 📚

Clive Thompson nailed it this week.

When I get some time free I'm gonna program a version of Pac-Man where you play as the fruit.

Tight close-up on the part of the maze where you appear

When you appear, you have no control over anything

All you do is wait
And wonder

If you're going to get eaten

You can hear, in the distance, the sounds of the game; see the ghosts go by; hear the approach of Pac-Man, hear him fade further away

If you don't get eaten in that round, you score one point

If you do get eaten, the game's over — [via saturation.social/@clive/110795319247395932]

Brain Dump 🧠

Here are a few articles and videos that resonated with me over the last week:

• My favorite new read is 50 Years of Text Games, which has sold out but still available via eBook. From the author, a new article on the lost art of the 'type-in' game. Retro-fun. — [via The Antagonists]
• Sad to see the passing of Sinead O'Connor last week. I liked this article on her life, and 'why do we always seem to dismiss the truth-tellers who don’t come packaged the way we’re expecting them'; lots for many to think about here. — [via The world wasn't ready for Sinead O'Connor]
• A good look at the protein bar; how many are full of sugar, highly processed and in cases make sense. But the reality is that unless you're climbing up the side of a mountain, they are nothing more than glorified candy bars. — [via Are Protein Bars Good for You? What to Know About Nutrition.]
• A fun read of moats versus strategy, focusing on the "how" is incredibly important, and some tips on recognizing "bad strategy", especially when it's filled with fluff and 'failure to face the challenge'. 'Good strategy can actually free (you) to move faster by making it clear exactly what the company wants to do, and for whom, and giving autonomy to the talented people it hires by letting them select their own coherent actions that fit within the strategy.' Amen. — [via In Defense of Strategy]
• TIL that most food expiration dates have no science behind them at all, and how these arbitrary dates are leading to massive food waste. — [via The truth about expiration dates]
• I got my first tattoo this year - and another one is coming (still deciding), but the Financial Times had an interesting retro on the growing number of tattoos in the workplace. Apparently, one study in 2018 reveals that 'men with tattoos were 7 per cent more likely to be employed than men without them'. — [via Tattoos have reached a turning point at work]
• In the immortal words of Tyler Durden, 'my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves', and in this post, the author makes a similar discovery. 'We’re continually either taking on new identities or shedding old ones, sometimes by choice and sometimes because change is foisted upon us. When you go through a big life transition—or even, sometimes, a small one—you have to change your entire conception of yourself along with it' - the pursuit of life 2.0 — [via You Have to Die Before You Can Be Reborn]
• You know a post is going to be a thinker when it begins with 'this shit is fucking boring.' Baldur Bjarnason has great insights on the latest technology hype - AI - and why 'the most effective thing for me to do is to ignore boring topics and focus on writing that interests me'. — [via Disinterest.]
• I could spoil the article, but instead go read it. I look for this trait, not only in hiring, but surrounding myself with people who are able to say it. — [via Apple Secretly Looks for Candidates Who Are Willing to Say These 3 Little Words]
• From the fascinating internet archives (and an FAQ for those that are interested in the tech details), the story of a campus email system, which through a series of upgrades and configuration coincidences couldn't send electronic mail farther than 500 miles. It makes sense once you read the article, but its always a fun one. — [via “The Case of the 500-mile email”]

This Weeks Vibe 🎸

Speaking of changing narratives - I recently came across this wonderful video from Patagonia on climate change.

Be well. ✌🏻