> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://makoism.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Not A Meal, But A Gathering - URL: https://makoism.com/not-a-meal-but-a-gathering/ - Published: 2022-07-23T09:55:25.000Z - Updated: 2022-07-23T09:55:25.000Z - Description: "Context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one's life." - Anthony Bourdain - Author: Steve Makofsky - Tags: makoism, #newsletter-makoism > *"Context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one's life." - Anthony Bourdain* I've never been one to enjoy large social gatherings. It's not that I don't like people, food, or music - I just tend to shut down when put in those situations. I have referred to this (jokingly) as being a bit of a self-diagnosed '**extroverted introvert**.' According to [this piece](https://introvertdear.com/news/extroverted-introvert-signs/) on the [ambivert](https://introvertdear.com/ambivert-meaning-definition/): > Signs You're an 'Extroverted Introvert': > \- You find people to be both intriguing and exhausting. > \- Certain people and interactions drain you while others recharge you. > \- You're selectively social. > \- You have no interest in trying to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers. > \- You're often confused for an extrovert. Yup. **Nailed it.** I don't know where that personality trait comes from; perhaps it's deeply aligned with my insecurities and self-inflicted impostor syndrome, or simply that I don't think of myself as being that 'interesting.' Although I have tried to live in a way that often focuses on experiences (such as trekking on Mt Everest, Safari in South Africa, or scuba diving in Belize), isn't it all *just dull*? Yes, I'm the type of person who will not only check to see if anyone's at the neighborhood mailbox - if I see anyone out there, I'll wait until I can run out to get the mail when it's quiet to avoid unnecessary conversation. Believe me when I say it: *it's not you, it's *me**. But over the last year or two, I've been actively forcing myself to embrace some of these *personality quirks* and re-casting them into strengths by leaning into them as a way to try and establish a **different way of thinking**. Perhaps it's part of my *post-second-heart-attack* mindset around 'life 2.0', but the concept of **gathering** has become a new thing that is unique and vital to my well-being. I've begun to really look forward to getting a **small** group with different backgrounds and experiences together, sharing a well-crafted meal in a beautiful setting coupled with a carefully prepared spirit - I'll admit: there's nothing quite like that. **I need that**. The gathering is the experience; and it is magical. [Priya Parker](https://www.priyaparker.com) writes about this in the book [The Art of Gathering](https://www.priyaparker.com/thebook). '*The gatherings in our lives are lackluster and unproductive - which *they don't have to be*. We rely too much on routine and the conventions of gatherings when we should focus on distinctiveness and the people involved.*.' It's a wonderful read. Here's a talk in which she further dives into the topic: Last, I can't talk about food and gatherings without mentioning the rabbit hole I went into in the life, adventures, and philosophy of [Anthony Bourdain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony%5FBourdain). While most famous for his series [Parts Unknown](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2845786/), I found the documentary [RoadRunner](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihEEjwRlghQ) one of those films that had me stop and re-think about the connections I have with people through food and gathering. > "Food may not be the answer to world peace, but it's a start." > "Never take yourself — or food — too seriously." Essential lessons to live by. If you enjoy these posts, you can [buy me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/makoism) ☕️, or if you'd rather keep up with my daily ramblings, follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/smakofsky) or keep reading [my posts on this blog](https://makoism.com/). ## Forward Thinking This week (I think it was via a tweet), I learned that the [Oakland Public Library](https://oaklandlibrary.org) scans and publishes notes, doodles, and scraps of paper if you accidentally left them in a book. I had never heard of a library doing this and just loved looking through some of the gems. Here's a few gems: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/61/8f/618f2076-e6a0-40dc-8037-06080661dee7/content/images/2022/07/Learning-to-cook-1.png) 'learning to cook' ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/61/8f/618f2076-e6a0-40dc-8037-06080661dee7/content/images/2022/07/Celias-found-note-670x423-1.png) 'the found note' ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/61/8f/618f2076-e6a0-40dc-8037-06080661dee7/content/images/2022/07/x-poopy2-small-1.jpg) 'the tales of mr. poopy-loopy stinky butt' Check out more of their "found treasures" at their website, [Found in a Library Book.](https://oaklandlibrary.org/found-in-a-library-book) ## Thought of the week > Well played, Target. [pic.twitter.com/WrEhHN2daU](https://t.co/WrEhHN2daU) > > — yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) [July 7, 2022](https://twitter.com/poutinesmoothie/status/1545032613982871553?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw) > Every now and again someone sees his eyes as they are, but mostly they see someone human. > > — Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) [July 21, 2022](https://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/1549928452555431936?ref%5Fsrc=twsrc%5Etfw) ## Latest obsession I've been using [iA Writer](https://ia.net/writer) for a few years now (in fact, I'm using it to write this newsletter). In what they self-describe as 'a focused environment where you can write freely (now with lasers)', I like [Fast Company's review](https://www.fastcompany.com/90768236/ia-writer-is-a-minimalist-writing-tool-marie-kondo-would-adore). > *A minimalist response to the complexity that's crept into other writing tools* If you're looking for a great application that allows you to focus on your content, I'd highly suggest checking it out. And, as a side bonus: there's no in-app subscription model - you buy it — end of payments. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/61/8f/618f2076-e6a0-40dc-8037-06080661dee7/content/images/2022/07/CleanShot-2022-07-21-at-18.55.33@2x-1.png) I'm looking forward to their next app, [iA Presenter](https://ia.net/presenter). As an early beta tester, I'll say that it's something exceptional. ## This weeks "Deep Links" Here are a few of the articles and videos that resonated with me over the last week: - At first glance, it may seem obvious, but "**Giving a Shit as a Service**" can be an oversight that many (huge corporations) fail to recognize. More importantly, the author nails an even more powerful concept: '*find yourself work you can give a shit about. And work with people who give a shit*.' Amen - [More](https://allenpike.com/2022/giving-a-shit) - I always find it fascinating to read when those in the spotlight (heck, even leaders at a company) publicly recognize that they are *indeed human*. "**Bruce Springsteen on Surviving Depression and His Strategy for Living Through the Visitations of the Darkness**" was a great read about his struggles and how he deals with them - [More](https://www.themarginalian.org/2022/07/20/bruce-springsteen-depression/) - While I'm not sure I entirely agree with this opinion piece, "**How a TV Sitcom Triggered the Downfall of Western Civilization**" was an interesting look at the sitcom [Friends](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108778/) and the character of Ross Geller. He claims the show '*signals a harsh embrace of anti-intellectualism in America, where a gifted and intelligent man is persecuted by his idiot compatriots*.' I'm not sure what to say about that, except that we still laugh when we come across a re-run. [Pivot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n67RYI%5F0sc0)! - [More](https://observer.com/2016/04/how-a-tv-sitcom-triggered-the-downfall-of-western-civilization/) - "**Small, Simple, Every Day**" continues to strengthen a concept that the fantastic book [Atomic Habits](https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits) addresses: '*implement small, simple, daily changes and maintain them over time.*' is the best way to defeat feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. - [More](https://exilelifestyle.com/small-simple-every-day/) - I'm glad I'm not the only one who's been feeling this, but yes, "**Instagram is dead**." [Om Malik](https://om.co) correctly calls it out that the service basically "is a constantly mutating product that copies features from 'whoever is popular now' service." It's sad (but not unexpected), and the real question is: where do you go now? - [More](https://om.co/2022/07/18/instagram-is-dead/) - "**So You've Decided to Unfollow Me**" nails something that I've been thinking about: **people who want to read your writing**. He hits the right cord, though: '*Readers who want to read what you want to write *are a gift*. Nothing is wrong with readers who don't want to read what you want to write. But when a reader wants you to write something you don't want to write? *That's a curse*.*' Sage advice for anyone who writes - [More](https://doctorow.medium.com/so-youve-decided-to-unfollow-me-7452c96b4772) - I was reminded this week that you could just patent anything. "**A patent for a stick**" proves it - [More](https://www.ideaconnection.com/blog/inventions/stick-patent.html) - "**The Untold Truth Of A Clockwork Orange**" is a behind-the-scenes look at the classic film and its influence on popular culture. If you're a fan of the film, there are some great nuggets in here that I never heard of before (such as Mick Jagger was initially thought of to play the main character, Alex DeLarge!) - [More](https://www.looper.com/930071/the-untold-truth-of-a-clockwork-orange/) - Described as "**Tools for better thinking**," this site has a great look at many different '*frameworks to help you solve problems, make decisions and understand systems*' - [More](https://untools.co/) - As someone now learning to appreciate sitting outside and having a drink or meal with a small group of friends, "**On Becoming a Patio Person**" struck a particular chord with me. It's fun to read the author's transformation and how "*what might otherwise feel like an incomplete trip to the salad bar feels like a long lunch in Ischia when you're on *The Patio**" - [More](https://anewsletter.alisoneroman.com/p/on-becoming-a-patio-person) ## Fin This past week, we celebrated the 36th anniversary of the release of the James Cameron film, Aliens. > *"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure." - Ripley, Aliens* Yes - sometimes its the only way to be sure. I've been using this in meetings all week. Be well. ✌🏻